I wrote this piece of League of Legends fan fiction in 2009.
Janna and Teemo
Janna swirled her head around. It was nothing, she had thought she had heard a noise in the jungles, but it was only her subconscious playing tricks on her again. It sounded like a hiss. It had been days since Janna had eaten when her caravan was attacked by marauders and caught her unaware.
“I may be street smart, but I’m definitely not cut out for this wilderness adventure stuff,” Janna told herself out loud more to pass the time than anything.
Growing up in Zaun was a tough upbringing for an orphan, and you learned to eat whenever you could. The problem here was that with so many poisonous plants in the jungles of Komungu, you could never tell what was safe to eat and what would kill you in five seconds or less. Janna chose the safest option and hoped she would stumble into Bandle City before her hunger overtook her.
Janna stood up and let the powers of wind lift her up so she could see her surroundings. She rose to the top of the canopy of the jungle and looked out. It all looked the same to her, she really was a city girl lost in the jungle. Her guides had unfortunately been killed by yordle swift scouts unknowingly that she was on their way to help them in their battle with the evils sent out from Zaun.
Such are the ways of the Yordles she thought, they would rather kill and ask questions later, than let live and damage happen to them. As she slowly descended back to to the forest floor she noticed a dead monkey laying next to her camp fire. Curiously she inspected it and poked it with a stick hoping it wasn’t some Zaun or Yordle booby trap.
Why had Mr. Heimerdinger sent her here anyway? What did she hope to accomplish, the Yordles were more than capable of handling their own in a fight even against the fiendish Dr. Mundo and the ever feared Assassin's Guild of Valoran. She was coming up close due to another round at the Hall of Summoners where she would fight to cleanse Zaun evil from the League of Legends.
Ever since Noxian invasion of Ionia, Dr. Heimerdinger had been worried that the Zaun state would try to take advantage of the chaos and begin its own campaign for conquest. Janna had been brought on board because of her ties to Zaun and her quest to cleanse it of evil. She focused back on the potential meal in front of her, it’s fur was still warm and it had been sliced down the stomach and gutted. A meal is a meal she thought and she took the monkey and skinned it with her pocket knife.
After the monkey was placed on a spit Janna sat back and pulled her staff close to her. It would get even more dangerous tonight, and she would need all the protection she could get. She became so lost in thought that she over cooked her precious cargo and had to discard some of the charred meat, but there was still plenty for her to eat, and so she stored some of the left overs in her pack. She fell asleep restlessly after she set a warding on her campsite. She did not have many wards left and she knew she had to make it to Bandle City soon as she could not keep going hungry and without protection while she slept.
She awoke with a start as she heard bushes rustling all around. What new evils were these, she wondered. It sounded as if there were flies all around her, had her ward not done its job? Janna quickly became concerned and sheltered herself with a wall of dense air so hard nothing could penetrate it. Twang she heard from nowhere....but she knew from where it had came.
So it seemed that Dr. Heimerdinger was correct after all. Evil from Zaun had decided to finally try and push its way into the peaceful lands of Komungu to the delightfully ferocious little Yordles.
Janna summoned all hour power and called her familiar to her. Saez, a bird elemental of the winds, came fluttering in from an ethereal plane not many had been able to understand except for Janna. Janna had become Saez's friend after she had failed in an experiment to summon a tornado and instead of calling on winds she had accidentally summoned something stronger.
“No time for thought of our history together,” Janna communed telepathically to her friend as she quickly sent him into the bushes she had seen rustle.
“Nothing there; however, I saw something out of the corner of my eyes,” Saez quickly replied as he reappeared next to her shoulder.
Janna suddenly saw what she was looking for. A clump of flies had surrounded a bush and she knew then exactly what she feared. The evil Twitch had been sent as a forward party for the hordes of Dr. Mundo's creations. She acted on instinct and sent a whirling blast towards the area of heavy wind.
Knocked from his invisibility, Twitch came into view. He was a horrifying sight indeed. His snout was a pussing combination of warts and melanomas, probably from all the concoctions he was being fed from the labs of the evil Mundo. He was one of the Assassin's Guilds top representatives as well as perpetrators. He cackled maniacally as a crossbow bolt suddenly reappeared on his crossbow and fired again; however, it bounced harmlessly off of Janna's shield.
“So you have come to infect your horrible poisons and changing ways upon the peaceful and quiet Yordles have you?” Janna inquired with anger.
“Yes, yes, I suppose we have come to acquire more clients,” Twitch slurred as he danced happily at his crossbow as another bolt loaded itself.
“As long as I still move the winds, I will never allow it to happen.”
“Yes.....Yes, as long as you move the winds will not be much longer.”
Twitch never had a strong point in talking and was always frightfully blunt when he meant to talk. So it would resort to violence, Janna smashed another charge of wind into twitch and he went stumbling backwards into a tree, but he was quick to his feet and he sent 3 more bolts at Janna as fast as he could. Two of the bolts ricocheted off of her shield but the third one made it through and barely bit into her skin with its poisoned tip.
She knew she was in trouble and that the poison of twitches bolts could deal more harm than being hit directly in the heart by one of them. She looked at her surroundings but there was nothing to help her near, she sent hardened air images of Saez at twitch and he laughed and shrugged them off as if a infant were swinging at him. However, they hit him enough to distract him from concentrating on reloading his crossbow. Janna seized the advantage and ran headlong toward him sending Saez directly at him.
As Saez impacted he burst into an ethereal form that covered Twitch and made his whole body move slower. Janna kept hurling ethereal objects at Twitch and slammed another whirlwind into him, but the Poison was doing his job.
Twitch muttered some incantations and suddenly Janna felt weary, so weary. A warmth covered her entire body and she felt numbness overtake her fingers, she dropped her precious staff. Her eyes began to water as she watched it stumble to the ground uselessly. She suddenly felt her command of the air dissipate. She floated to the ground like a feather and watched as Saez tried to return but just evaporated into the jungle air.
Twitch loomed not so very high over the top of her and began to cackle. His devilish eyes gleamed with a red light that screamed of the evil and torture that he would inflict if he had his way with but a few precious Yordles.
“Yes....Yes, toys for Mundo,” he wheezed while coughing and hacking up blood.
“I anticipate you will become quite the addition to our confederacy and will do us proud when we destroy the vile council in Valoran.”
Suddenly a tiny object appeared in Twitches snout, and he cried out in pain dropping his crossbow and shaking his head violently.
Janna barely had control of her head as she looked to her left and saw the strangest creature covered in camouflage step out of the understory. He looked like a cross between the mercenaries of Noxus, an angry badger, and a Yordle. He chuckled very lightly and sent two more darts into the haunches of Twitch with speed and efficiency.
Twitch turned on him and snarled, but he realized quickly that his leg had began to not work anymore, he fell over and quickly righted himself.
“YOU, YOU will pay for that!” he said and quickly picked up his crossbow.
As quickly as he was there Twitch was gone and disappeared and slowly the sounds of carnivorous flies slowly began to fade away. Janna also began to fade away into a deep sleep wondering if she would ever see the world again.
Janna awoke to the smell of a minty scent and cooked meat. She glanced around bolted upright only to be greeted by a horrible pain in her skull. The headache felt as if someone had cracked her over the head with a maul.
She glanced around and saw the strange creature that had saved her from Twitch sitting around the fire. He raised his big bushy eyebrow as she sat up and then chuckled to himself. He sounded similar to a young boy. He looked around and then chuckled again, but this time to himself.
“Who are you?” Janna asked.
Excitedly, the tiny Yordle hopped to his feet and squealed with delight.
“I am Captain Teemo!” He squealed “A captain of the outer watches of Bandle City!”
“Well you certainly are in the outer watches,” Janna replied, wanting to be careful of where she took the topic of conversation. “What are you doing this far out into the jungles of Komungu?”
“I am collecting things,” Teemo proclaimed, but there was an air of secrecy about his statement.
“Do you know who or what you saved me from back there?” Janna inquired.
“Nope, I only heard enough to know that you have come to help the Yordles, and that makes you a Yordle friend. Not that we need your help of course, we Yordles are extremely strong and valiant warriors. We can defeat anyone in our path!” Teemo declared.
“His name was Twitch, an abomination created by my homeland's ingenious evil creators. I was sent by my current employer to assist you in preventing them from infecting your homeland. He was created by the vile oozes that run off from Dr. Mundo's laboratory. His sole goal in life is to create more of his kind. I suspect he is here not by Dr. Mundo's request, but because of your stature.” Janna said the last with as much empathy as possible.
Teemo's eyes really perked up at the mention of invaders to his homeland. This hot-headed captain of the guard had a sincere interest in anything that might hurt his fellow Yordles. However, he still seemed quite insistent that the Yordle guard could handle anything Zaun”s or Mundo's henchmen would throw their way. Janna had to convince him that it was wise to take her advice. This was her best chance at getting to the King of Bandle City and asking for his support in taking action before it was too late.
“We Yordles have been fighting off you evil outsiders for centuries! All you have ever wanted was to make us slaves in your strange fight circus.”
He must be referring to the League where a few Yordles such as the enigmatic Tristana and even more strange Kennen were fighting mostly of their own free will. Tristana was strange enough with her insane fascination with blowing everything up. It was said she would blow up all of Runetarra just to watch the explosion if she could find a big enough cannon ball. Kennen being a rare breed everyone called “Ninja” trained by the Kinkou, he kept to himself with Shen and Akali most of the time.
“Listen Teemo, I know you’re very proud of your heritage, but this time things are different,” Janna pleaded. “An evil unlike any other in history is knocking on the door of all peaceful Yordles.” Teemo seemed interested now. “While Ionia is being held captive by Noxus, many of Zaun's masterminds have decided that it is now time to set their own personal agenda's into play. Twitch was probably one of the first; however, he probably won't be the last.....or the worst.”
Janna shivered at the thought of the worse things such as the Kog'Maw or Cho'Gath that were rumored to be under the employ of Zaun generals now.
“And just how would you know about all of this if you weren’t in their boat to begin with!” Teemo accused.
“Because I was born there, it is the land of my birth, a wonderful place that has been distorted and made evil by its own freedom and liberties. Where beautiful things were wrought by the hands of geniuses without limits or boundaries, there are now those who seek only power and will do whatever it takes to achieve just that. I know because I have sworn to bring Zaun back to the beautiful land it once was.”
Janna was getting nervous about where the conversation was going so she summoned Saez to comfort her. The elemental bird fluttered down from the sky and landed on a log near Janna's leg. Teemo squealed with delight at the sight of the bird and ran over to examine him. Saez jumped back and flew up onto Janna's shoulder.
“Saez be friendly this is Teemo, he saved my life after Twitch hand infected me with numbing poison,” Janna told her dear friend.
Saez puffed up his chest and took off, swirling in the air around Teemo. The Yordle cheered and squealed in delight watching the bird as he floated down to land atop Teemo's head. It was a sight to behold--his eyes crossed as he tried to look up and pet the bird on top of his head. Saez jumped onto his hand and Teemo brought him down to examine him. There was an instant bond between the two. Teemo quickly produced tiny seeds which Saez graciously accepted.
“Oh he's so pretty and nice,” The Yordle said. “What is his name?”
“His name is Saez and he has been my friend for a very long time, he and I have been through several adventures together. We have come to help you, but what we need right now is actually your help. We must get to Bandle City and speak to your King before any more evil spreads.”
The friendly nature of Saez, or just a natural instinct within Teemo telling him that this was the right thing to do seemed to finally change his mind. He pulled out a tiny but wicked pocket knife and slit his hand slightly and then spit on it.
“I will take you to my king, but only under a mushroom oath that you will promise to help us and will never seek ill will against my kind”
“Of course I will” Janna replied as she pulled out her own knife and in a petite fashion did the same to her own hand.
So the two shook, and sat back down by the fire. Janna was feeling tired again already and pulled out a magical ward to place so she could sleep in peace. Teemo looked at it wide eyed and motioned for her to put it away.
“There will be no more need for you magic tonight!” Teemo proudly said. “I have my own natural means of defense!”
Teemo pulled three mushrooms out of a large satchel and placed them around the campsite. This little Yordle seemed to have a lot of tricks up his sleeve. Saez landed on a mushroom and looked as if he wanted to take a bite of it. Quickly Teemo ran over and shooed him away.
“Do not eat these, for if you do they will explode and poison you, and you will know a horrible painful death!”
Heeding the Yordles warning, Janna moved away from the nearest mushroom to her not wanting to set it off unexpectedly in her sleep. She laid down and pulled her bedroll up over herself. Meanwhile, Teemo laid down in his Saez flew over and perched on top of his stomach. Soon there was a soft snore from his tiny form and Saez stood very still over him almost as if on watch.
It seemed as if he had found a new friend in Teemo, Janna was glad for that as he had went so long only ever communicating with Janna. It seemed like things were back on the fast track. How much back on fast track she had no idea. Janna slipped into a dreamless sleep.